Have you ever been afraid of something? I do. Many times. As a woman, I am afraid of walking alone in the night. I am afraid of driving home when I go home late. Sometimes I feel a little paranoid, I think a burglar might come to my house, or what if when I am sleeping, there will be fire. That thoughts come to my mind and I scare about it. When that feeling creeps in to my heart, when I feel afraid, you know what God tell me? 

Yesterday, by the grace of God, I got a chance to attend the Treasure's Women Conference held by Jakarta Praise Community Center (JPCC), a local church in Jakarta. Be the Light was the theme of the conference. I was so incredibly blessed by this conference and in this post, I'd like to share what I got in that conference. (I add my reflection on it.) 

Because the main theme was Be the Light, so all the sermon concerned in Matthew 5:14-15. In that passage written that He has purpose for our life and that purpose is to become His light.

"You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. if I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand-shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven." (The Message)

As a Christian, we no longer walk in the darkness, and as the mature Christian, we do not talk about how to avoid sin anymore, but we talk about becoming the light, making a difference and leading people come to Him as the great commission commands us to do. 

How to be a light? 

John 8:12 (New International Version) said that He is the light of the world. Whoever follows Him will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of the life. How we can be the light? When we have Jesus as the light in our live. I give you the illustration about it. We can not take a picture in the darkness right? People who like photography will agree with me. Without a light, we can not capture any object. If you say we can use the flash, isn't it also the light? So, to make the object can be seen, we need light . When we talk about being the light, we need the light. The light is Jesus Himself. 

It is believed that couple who live together for a long time, they will be similar in many ways, we'll say that their faces are alike and perhaps their character as well. I think that concept goes same with our relationship with God. We will become more like Him when we have intimacy with Him, when we have a deep relationship with Him. Over the time, as He is the Light, we also become the light. 

How to live bright?

When we have Jesus and His Word as our light, we will definitely shine toward others. Live bright means live in Jesus way, think and put others above ourselves (Philippians 2:3). As Jesus love other, we will love one another as Jesus did. As Jesus pray for other, we will pray for others in the same way. Jesus is humble and so are we. Jesus easily forgive and not hold an anger, we also have to do the same. To sum it up, live bright means love sincerely, share generously and forgive easily. It is not about ourselves anymore, it is about other and it is about God.  

I believe that everyone has it's own calling. Its different from one to another. One may be called to be a business (wo)man, other may be a great doctor, and the other may be a full-timer serve God in the church. Whatever it is, there is an ultimate purpose God has appointed for each of us to do a good work that God has prepared for. I have written about this in my previous blog, What's your purpose of life, and today I want share more about the calling. I once was confuse with what is my calling. I understand that God's calling is a process. As I ask God for the clarity of the calling, I found 3 important things about the calling.  

1. We are called to be His image bearer

Firstly, our identity is that we were made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26). Our calling is based on our identity. His calling for each of us is to be His image bearer, whatever our job is. We are called out to shine toward other so they can see and glorify Him (Matt 5:13-16). God is love, God is faithful, God is full of mercy. Our life, and our calling as well, must represent the character of God. 

2. Our story is the way how God shape our calling

I believe that God use our story of life to shape our calling. Our experiences may lead us to understand God's calling. In Mark 5:1-20, we know that Jesus restored a demon-possessed man. In verse 19, Jesus told the man to tell to the people how much The Lord had done for him and how much he had the mercy on his life. In 2 Corinthians 1:3-4,  Paul wrote that what he had experienced , he was comforted by God so he might comfort others. 

God may use our experiences to help us to find out what our calling is. When it comes to living out our calling, our story is an important part of God's story. The specific ways God has worked in our life are tangible examples of his love and faithfulness that God wants us to share it. Take a look back what God has done in your life, write down what you had experienced. 

3. In every calling, God's equipped us

When God calls us, He must have equipped us with some gifts and abilities. It is written clearly in the Exodus 31:1-11. 

Then the Lord said to Moses, "See, I have chosen Bezalel son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills-- to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of crafts."

See! When God call us, God has already equipped us with everything we need to fulfill His calling, to do His work. There is no doubt we got a skills. Each of us has talents, either it is one, five or ten. 

Do not say that you are not talented, you can not do anything. He always finishes what He has started. Whenever He calls you, He must have prepared you to do that task.

To find out the calling is a journey. It will not appear in instant way. The calling itself will not come for nothing. That calls must be the way to bear the image of God, to do the good work and fulfill His purpose. God can work through everything, our story is one of them. He uses our experiences to lead us the our calling. When we live out our calling, He has prepared everything in advance. He will not call us if He is not sure we can do that or not. He will not call us if we are not capable of. Certainly, He equips us with the gifts and the abilities to do His work, to live out His calling.

Dear God,

give the clarity to find out our calling,  a courage and strong faith to live out Your calling, and a graceful response for your calling. 

   

I have a lot of questions in my mind. I really try hard to get the answer I am seeking. I ask a preacher, ask my spiritual leader yet I am not satisfied. I am really wondering why God seems so silence. One morning while I was reading my bible, I found that God's actually has already given me the answer. I am the one who not listening.

It is said in 1 Kings 19:11-13 :

 

Have someone or people ever said those words for you?

Or maybe we put label on ourself that we are not talented, we are useless. What can we do? 

I myself just had experienced it. My confidence was torn when I heard my closest person told me that. I was trying not to think about it, but whenever I tried, the feeling had become stronger. Whatever I do, that sound echoed in my mind that I am useless and I am nothing. Then I prayed to God. I asked him to help me not to believe that lie. I said it was lie because now I knew that I was intimidated by the enemy.

I remember the bible told me that the enemy is the liar and he is the father of lies (John 8:44). He wants to fail the purpose of God in our life. He says everything, does everything so that God can not work through our life, one of them is to intimidate us, telling us that we are useless, we are sinners and whatever. God himself told us that we were fearfully and wonderfully made (psalm 139:14). We are no longer a sinner, for we are forgiven by the blood of the Christ (Rome 16:18). 

The truth is we are His son and daughter, and He is going to fullfil His purpose in our life. We may not know how and when, to whom and where. I remember the amazing story how Jesus did a miracle with five loaves and two fish. The miracle happened after Jesus prayed and gave thanks (Matthew 6:19). Whatever we have now, maybe we might consider it's a small talent, maybe too insignificant but God can do everything with what He has put in our life. Give thanks with our "five loaves and two fish", do our best with that, and He will make in to become a blessing to people and to become a praise to our Father in heaven.

My parent is not (yet) a believer.

I was 6 years old when my older sister took me and my little sister to sunday school in front of my house. It was the first time I knew Jesus. I started to attend the sunday school there. But not for a long time, I have to move to another city and l did not go to church anymore. Until I was in junior high, I got the Christian subject. I got a basic biblical lesson, where before it, I had no idea about Christianity before. At school, I did know how, all my best friend are Christian. Sometime they asked me to go to church with them. l went to church, but l went there without permission from my parent, especially my father. He does not like anything about God and religion. He scolded me, he disallow me to go to church. It continued until I was a high student. Sometimes I cried, beg him to allow me to go to church, sometimes I said that I want to meet my friend, but I did not mention that I meet a friend in a church. Many things I did so I could find a reason to go out so I could go to church. The only thing I could do is praying to God to open the way for me to worship Him freely, without guilt because of my reason I tried to make to my parent. One day, suddenly my father permitted me to go, he said that he just wanted me to make a relationship, having a friend there. WOW! Thanks God. As the time past by, my father gave me a freedom to choose what I believe, in one condition, for church only. He still does not permit me to involve in community cell, bible study or any church activity held besides on sunday. For him, go to church is once a week is enough. My mother is not so headstrong like my father, but she still does not believe in God, she believes as long as a mankind do not do harm to other people, they will have a peace and be saved. 

Alkisah ada seorang ayah yang mempunyai 3 orang anak perempuan. Ayah ini sangat mengasihi ketiga putrinya. Kepada putrinya yang sulung, Ayah ini menyekolahkannya di Amerika. Untuk putri keduanya, Ayah ini memasukkannya ke sekolah kedokteran yang terbaik. Sedangkan untuk putri bungsunya, Ayah ini menyekolahkannya di sekolah swasta di kota tempat mereka tinggal. Sesekali, Ayah ini memberikan hadiah kepada masing-masing putrinya. Suatu hari, kepada putrinya yang sulung, ayah memberikan sebuah cincin permata yang berkilau dengan sangat indahnya. Untuk putri keduanya, ia membelikan sebuah mobil dan untuk putri bungsunya, ia menghadiahkannya sebuah buku. Merasa diperlakukan sedikit berbeda dari kedua kakaknya, si bungsu merasa sedih dan kecewa. Mengapa Sang Ayah membedakannya dari kedua kakaknya? 

Ketika membaca kisah diatas, tentu kita merasa bahwa Sang Ayah tidak adil dalam memperlakukan ketiga putrinya. Tidak jauh dari kehidupan kita. ada masa dimana kita merasa hal yang sama dengan si bungsu dalam cerita diatas. Dalam sebuah perusahaan, ada orang yang karirnya bisa dipromosi lebih cepat. Dalam dunia bisnis, ada usaha yang lebih sukses, toko yang lebih ramai. Adapula teman yang diberkati dengan kecerdasan yang lebih. Padahal sama sama anak Tuhan dan dikasihi Tuhan. Mengapa ada perbedaan tersebut? Kita pun mulai membandingkan berkat yang kita terima dengan yang orang lain terima, dan hal ini mulai menimbulkan kecemburuan dalam diri kita dan menilai Allah tidak adil.

Apakah benar Allah tidak adil? Bisa ya, dan tidak. 

Iya, jika kita berfokus pada berkat yang diberikan Allah. 

Tidak jika kita berfokus pada Allah, pribadinya. 

Jika fokus kita adalah pada berkat Allah, maka ketika berkat yang kita terima tidak seperti yang diterima oleh orang lain, hal itu akan menimbulkan iri hati dan membuat kita menilai bahwa Allah tidak adil. Namun jika kita meletakkan fokus kita pada Allah dan Pribadinya, seperti apa berkat yang kita terima, seperti apa berkat yang diterima oleh orang lain bukankah hal tersebut sama? Kita diberkati oleh Allah yang sama. 

Allah adalah adil dan Ia murah hati. Kisah perumpamaan dalam Matius 20:1-16 tentang para pekerja di kebun anggur yang mendapatkan upah yang berbeda-beda menunjukkan bahwa Allah adalah Allah yang bermurah hati (Matius 20:15). Namun kemurahan hatiNya tidak dapat kita ukur dengan pengukuran manusia. Ia memberkati setiap orang dengan bentuk dan cara yang berbeda. Adalah hak dan kedaulatannyalah mau seperti apa dan bagaimana bentuk dari berkat yang Ia beri. Tentu Ia memberkati setiap anakNya sesuai dengan kapasitas yang dimiliki. Dan ia memperlengkapi setiap orang sesuai dengan pangilan khusus yang telah dipercayakan. Ketika Allah menunjukkan bagaimana Petrus akan Ia pakai, Petrus bertanya pada Allah dengan bagaimana dengan Yohanes (John 21:21-22, Amplified Bible) When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, Lord, what about this man? Jesus said to him, if I want him to stay (survive, live) until I come, what is that to you? [ What concern is it of yours?] You follow Me!

Allah berkata bahwa hal itu bukanlah urusan Petrus, Allah mengkehendaki Petrus untuk mengikutiNya. Hanya itu. Berfokus pada Dia dan pribadiNya, mencari wajahNya dan bukan tanganNya. Ketika kita berfokus hanya pada Yesus seorang, hal itu melebihi dari segala yang kita perlukan. Yesus seorang cukup. 

it is not that they are more blessed than us, it is that we are blessed in different way.

Now a days, we often hear about white lies. Someone ever told me that white lies are allowed for it is for a good purpose. First time I heard about that, I hesitate, is it true? I assume it is okay and no problem, because it is looked "acceptable" and everyone does it. So I also do that. Sometimes, I tell a white lie. But there is something inside my heart. I don't know, I just don't feel peace whenever I tell a white lie. Not a big matter actually. I am not telling a lie to hide my crime, I just sometimes tell my beloved people that I am okay, in fact I am not. I just don't want them to worry about me, so I tell them a white lie. Whenever people ask me about my comment, I don't want to offend them, so I tell a lie- a white lie-

For many times, I heard a sermon about lie. But I don't get the specific order that mention about white lie. Then I decide to do a bible study about it. Thank to God I found it. So grateful God had given us a manual book that can guide us and tell us everything we need to know in our life (So we now know that we can find anything in the bible, Our Father's love letter, take the time to read it ^^). It is written in the Proverb 4:24, "Don't talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies and gossip." (The Messenger). So, sin is a sin, tough it is small or big, God considers it as a sin. 

As I continue my bible study, I am very interested in the this theme. So I take more time to learn about lips, words and its sin. My study led me into one conclusion : 

 "When words are many, transgression is not lacking...." (Proverb 10:19, English Standard Version)

If we talk too much, we will find out some topic to talk about. It will end up in the unworthy words and it tends to be a sin. We will say something unnecessary, meaningless, and useless. It turn in to gossip or in to curse. It should not be happened. With our tongue we bless God our father; but with the same tongue we say something bad about - or even curse-  the very men and women He made in His image. 

Moreover, in many talks, our words may be uncontrolled and it may hurt someone. We often say something we don't mean to say, especially in anger or in quarrel. Tongue is compared to the sharp razor. A spoken words will never turn back. As it went out from the lips, it would be heard and we could not take it back. The people who get hurt with our words may forgive us, but they would never forget it. It is like a breaking glass. We may stick it back with a glue, but we still have the mark in it.  

Tongue is a small part in our body, yet many people regard it as sharp as a knife. The bible said it can boast nearly anything, or destroy anything (James 3;5). We must be careful with every word come out from our lips. It can turn to be a blessing or be a curse. As a woman, I realize that this is the area where I struggle the most. I remember the study of researcher who found that,  for a day woman speaks approximately three times more than a man, it is about fifteen thousand words. But it is not to say that men have no struggle with lips. We knew that Isaiah had a problem with his lips. In the first chapter of Isaiah we could see that he was given a words by God for people of Judah, yet in the chapter 6 he confessed he still had a sin in his lips.  "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips..." (Isaiah 6:5 ESV).  Even he was prophet, God spokesman, he still fell in the lips sin. 

Everyday we need to ask God to give us a wisdom to say every word worthy. As David ask God to watch his lips, and so do we. We need God to watch our lips, that everything we say can turn in to blessing. Whenever we open our mouth, our words encourage and inspire many people, and above all, it lead people to give honor to Our God.

"If you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman." (Jeremiah 15:21, NIV)

Have you ever questioned how to know whether we are in the will of God or not. If you are now working, is your job part of the will of God? If you are in relationship, is s(he) the one that God want you to be with? 

How do we know that we are in will of God? I jump in to a deep reflection for this question. We know that barely God speaks in audible way. For just some case He speaks directly, but mostly He does in another way that we may get confuse. Then I remember the story of exodus. 

When Moses were commanded to guide the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt to the promise land, he doubted it (Exodus 3).  The situation at that time were hard to believe that God wanted he and His chosen nation (The Israelites) out from Egypt. Pharaoh the king's heart was hardened and would not let them go. Because it was history, we knew the ending of the story. The Exodus was part of God's will and God's plan. But now, how we could be sure to know what God's will is.  

I found that we can learn 3 things from the story of Exodus to the Promise Land and the life of Moses.

1. Ask for sign(s)

When we are confuse, we are allowed to ask for sign(s). He will reveal His thought. Moses was in doubt. He felt that God's command were so unbelievable. He knew how was he, and he knew who was ruling over the Israelites, Pharaoh who had the hardened heart. So when he got God's command to take His people out from Egypt, Moses was in argument with God. He also did ask the signs from God, and He gave the powerful signs for him so he could no more dodge the task (Exodus 4). He is the God who give to whoever ask and open to whoever knock. But once God give His sign(s), we have to have a gentle heart to submit and obey. 

Moses had a deep relationship with God. He often went up to the mountain to find God. When he was with God, God revealed Himself. God confided many things to him. He told Moses how to judge people (Exodus 18), He told Moses how to lead The Israelites (Exodus 19), He gave His 10 commandments (Exodus 20). 

We can find God in prayer, in devotion, in fasting. We can meet Him through praise and worship we lift up.  We can know the will of God, we can understand His plan when we are close to Him. 

"The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant" (Psalm 25:14, English Standard Version). 

3. There is a perfect peace

When God told Moses to go out from Egypt, He did not say even a word that God would make it easy. He said that He will hardened Pharaoh's heart. God also did not say that He would take the Israelites fly to the Promise Land, but God let them wander in the desert. Moses realized it well. He calmed the Israelites when they were grumbling and groaning because he first calmed and assured by God that God Himself will lead them and deliver them. 

Exodus 6:6-8

" I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will deliver you from slavery to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great acts of judgement. I will take you to be my people and I will be your God, and you shall know that I am the Lord you God, who has brought you out form under the burdens of the Egyptians. I will ring you into the land that I swore to give...."

Many things may be an obstacle to our journey. It leads us sometimes to confusion and frustration. But one thing we can sure with that if we are walking in the will of God, there is a perfect peace and faith. Peace is not the absence of trouble, but the Presence of Christ. We could feel that God walks with us and God blesses us. Like Moses, he could feel peace, day by day by the care of God (10 Plagues, parted sea, manna, pillars of cloud and fire).

Remember the story of Joseph. He chose and appointed Joseph among his 11 brothers to do a great thing. He gave Joseph the vision to rescue his nation from a great famine.

Believe the vision which God has put in your heart. Don't let the vision be faded by anything. He chose you. He wanted you. He set you where you are now (John 15:16). Maybe you are now dumped off in the wrong workplace. Or maybe you had took a wrong path, and get lost. You are far away from that vision. Just keep that vision alive in your heart. Just believe that God who has appointed you, will fulfill the vision He has put in your heart. His vision is a great thing that you can never imagine what will it bear. Just be strong and courageous!

Back to the story of Joseph, he had waited almost 13 years to God's plan worked well in his life. Nothing good happened in his life. It feels like what kind of great thing God can do through his condition. He was sold by his own brothers, he was accused and imprisoned. But all the evil plan for him God used to his goods. All the condition Joseph faced, all were prepared to test his faithfulness and his purity. All that process he was going through had changed him from an arrogance boy to the humble man.  

Believe that God knows everything about you. He knows what you feel, how hard your life, and how struggle you are. He has intervened in everything, in every circumstance we face (Romans 8:28). You may think it is so bad, but God can turn it into good. He just want you to take the process. The process with Him so that you may be pure, be the stronger person, and be the best of you. Just be faithful and true!

The end of Joseph's story is God used Joseph to save his family and nation.

God will finish what He has started (Philippians 1:6). Continue to believe and proclaim God's vision from the day you heard it right up to the present. God who began the great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish. His plan for you will never fail. No one or not even anything could drive you away from the future that God has plan for you (Isaiah 14:27). Just trust Him and stay in hope!

Let the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ.